 |
|||||
|
HOME | ABOUT | THE SKINNY | CORNA' STO' | THE LOUNGE | LINKS | CONTACT |
|||||
|
Monday, October 27, 2008
Random Relationship Advice - Part 2 The other day I was talking to a guy, a good quality guy that a lot of girls are interested in, and I was asking him a few random dating questions. This is a quality guy, the kind of guy that a lot of girls are interested in, yet, he’s not dating anyone. I wanted to know why! Now ladies, I know your mind is wondering already and you are trying to figure out who you have seen me talking to the last couple of days so you can figure out who this might be, but you are wasting your time. The point is not, who I was talking to but what we were talking about. The bottom line is; we have an epidemic in the Christian dating world. This epidemic is especially problematic for quality Christian guys. So there I was, asking this young man all kinds of questions, such as: · Aren’t there any Christian girls that you would be interested in getting to know better? Yes, several of them. · Are there any of these girls that you think are cute? Oh YEAH! · Are you afraid to ask a girl out? NO! · Do you have any game? YES. · Then what’s the problem? Why haven’t you asked one of these girls out? Well… OK, hold on, do you really want to know why this quality guy is very hesitant to ask a girl out?!?! I mean, can you handle the truth? Because once you know the truth, you are responsible to own it. I realize my role is to be the conduit that communicates between both sides. I am willing to figure out what this quality Christian guy is thinking and then relay his thoughts, but ladies; I need you to help fix this problem. So, the reason why he hadn’t asked a girl out in a while and why he is very slow to ask a girl out is because he is afraid she will read too much into it. You know what I’m talking about. “Boy sees girl. Boy thinks girl is cute. BoyGet the point? My advice ladies, is for you to not get so hung up on a guy, any guy. Just because a guy happens to be a quality guy that you would like to get to know better, doesn’t mean that you have to allow yourself to like him so much! Take your thoughts “captive to Christ” and don’t let your mind start planning your wedding before he even says hello to you. When you start to obsess about what every smile means or why he hasn’t called yet…ask the Holy Spirit to help you slow your roll! He will and you will fare much better in the dating game. The Holy Spirit will show you how to come across like a young lady who is worth asking out versus your anxiety that causes you to act like one of Cinderella’s step sisters trying to force her foot into the glass slipper. Ladies you have to understand that a date is just an activity or meeting between two people with the goal of getting to know each other better. It probably won’t go any farther than that. I hate to be the one to tell you, but you need to take a chill pill. If it does turn into more than friendship, then great…enjoy, but if not, remember, you’ve made a friend. And in my experience, friends make great spouses… down the road. Word… Pasta’ Alex posted by Pasta' Alex # 11:48 PM 0 Comments   Wednesday, October 22, 2008 Random Relatinship Advice - Part 1 I think there is an issue with the way young Christian people show (or try not to show) their interest for a member of the opposite sex. Let's face it, as a college and young adult aged person; from time to time you are going to develop feelings for a member of the opposite sex. Since I know it's hard for you to admit to anyone, or even yourself, that you do have these feelings, we will just say, you will develop an intrigued interest in a boy or girl. So, what do you do? If you are like most young Christians, you start to hang around that person as much as you can, doing things with them, texting, calling and emailing them all the time. Your plan is to get as close to that person as you can and become "really good friends". Correct? Bad Plan! If you simply hang around with them and get to know them as much as you can, you are going to be placed into the good friend category. This may seem like a good thing because in the good friend category, you get to spend a lot of time with him or her. They tell you secrets and you get to know them better. You start to see good qualities that make you like this person even more. You enjoy the friendship and so do they. The problem is, once you are in the good friend category, it’s hard to ever get out of it! Unless of course you are Brad Pitt or Megan Fox, then you can move freely in and out of any category you want. But, no disrespect meant, you are not Brad or Megan! So, stay out of the good friend category. Instead, hang out in the casual friend category. This is where you want to be. Casual friends hang out and speak from time to time, but they don’t have the unwritten mandate to have to communicate all the time. There’s no social code of behavior that comes along with being casual friends unlike the expectations of being accountable to a good friend. If you want to call, text message or hang out with a casual friend, you do. But if not, then oh well. There’s a fascination that accompanies casual friendship. Casual friends look forward to the few times they see each other because they know it will be an opportunity to get to know the other person better. There’s good conversation, laughter and fun times, and the feeling that you want to spend more time with this person; that characterize casual friendship. Isn’t this the type of interaction you want between you and a person you are “interested” in?! The ultimate goal is to have that person of interest ask themselves this critical question: “I wonder why I feel the way I do about my friend?” When they start asking that question, then – BOOM! You got them right where you want them. Therefore, make sure you work hard to stay out of the good friend category if you think you might become interested in someone. Keep the excitement and freshness alive by not giving into the allure to become really good friends. Be patient and give the relationship time to blossom into something beautiful and special. Remember, all good things are worth waiting and in relationships, timing matters a lot. Word… P. Alex posted by Pasta' Alex # 11:39 AM 0 Comments Wednesday, October 15, 2008 Daddy's Little Princess For some time now I have wanted to offer a few thoughts to young ladies about what guys are looking for. I often talk with young ladies about relationships, the guy of their dreams, marriage and all that other girly stuff. I know you are probably thinking; “What does Pastor Alex know about girly stuff?! He only has boys and he doesn’t seem very sensitive!” Exactly! I do only have sons and I’m not very sensitive. These facts alone should qualify me to tell young ladies what guys want and what they are looking for in a girlfriend or wife. So, listen up ladies! Here it is… Guys want… wait a minute, it’s really not that simple. I mean, come on. Different guys are looking for different things. Is she pretty? Can she sing? Does she have a beautiful smile that lights up a room? Does she have nice legs? Does she love the Lord? Is she athletic? Is she outgoing and friendly? Does she laugh at my jokes and make me feel important? Is she nice to her family? The list goes on and on. What one guy puts at the top of list of things he is looking for, another guy may rank at the bottom of his list. Truth be told - the more guys you talk to about what guys really want, the more confused you can be. (Imagine how guys feel now about what girls want). Instead of focusing on what guys want, I say you should focus on what God wants you to be. I’m sure you have read before about the Proverbs 31 woman? If not, check it out. The Bible gives a good list of qualities all virtuous women should possess. That’s a good place to start understanding what God wants you to be. Check it out sometime. In addition, I want to point you to a woman in the Bible that has always caught my eye. She was a foreigner who married outside of her race. Shortly after her marriage her newly wed husband dies and leaves her without children or any proper means to take care of herself. The woman I’m talking about is Ruth. I love the story of Ruth and there is a lot we can learn from her. So ladies, speaking from the male perspective, I offer several things us guys admire about a lady like Ruth. 1. Ruth was loyal. We are first introduced to Ruth as she demonstrated her commitment to remain loyal to her mother-in-law Naomi even in the midst of tough circumstances. Ruth’s husband, Naomi’s son has died and left Ruth childless. Ruth chooses to stay with Naomi instead of going to find another husband while she is still young. ¨ What about you, are you loyal to your friends, your job, your family, your church? Do you demonstrate a willingness to stick around and not abandon ship at the firs sign of trouble? 2. Ruth showed initiative. Since her mother-in-law, Naomi is too old to work and take care of herself. Ruth gets a job to provide for both of them, even in a foreign land where she knew no one. ¨ What about you, are you willing to figure out what needs to be done and then do it? Or, do you play the “girl card” and wait for others to step up to the plate? 3. Ruth was courteous. Before she went to pick up food in the field of a stranger, she asked for permission. She didn’t just assume she could join the other people picking food, who usually entered the field without permission – which was customary for their culture. This act stood out so much that the work foreman took notice and told the owner of the field, Boaz. ¨ Are you known for being kind and courteous or are you only nice when people are nice to you? 4. Ruth was a hard-worker. The foreman also commented on the fact that Ruth worked hard in the field starting early in the morning and didn’t slack off or take breaks. ¨ Are you a hard worker, or do you just do enough to get by hoping that others will step in and take over so you don’t have to break a sweat? 5. Ruth was humble. She dropped to her knees and showed respect for the owner of the field and thanked him from the bottom of her heart when he showed her kindness and favor. ¨ Are you willing to humble yourself before others or do you have the attitude that no one is better than you and respect is earned before it is given? Are you willing to put yourself in positions of lower authority and readily to submit to others? 6. Ruth had a good reputation. When Boaz had a conversation with Ruth, he told her all the good things he had heard about her. ¨ What’s your reputation? Are you known for being a nice and positive person? One who is kind, generous, gentle, and compassionate, one who shows the love of Christ at all times? 7. Ruth was industrious. Ruth did the job until it was finished. She not only picked the wheat, but then took it to the storehouse to process it and then bagged it up and carried it home. She didn’t stop until the job was done. ¨ What about you? Do you work without complaining and keep going until the job is finished? Or do you avoid doing work and look for the quickest way out when you do have to work? 8. Ruth was generous. Even though she was hungry and worked hard for what she received, when Boaz met her needs by giving her food, she took the leftovers home to share with her mother-in-law. ¨ Are you a generous person or are you selfish? Do you look to fulfill your own desires and needs first in the midst of hardships? Or do you also think about others and their needs? So forget about what guys are looking for - their opinion is NOT the one you should seek. Besides, what guys say they want often changes with the times! However, what God wants you to become will never change. I believe he offers us this story of Ruth to be an example to all young ladies for all time. Ruth demonstrated admirable qualities that all young ladies would be wise to strive to acquire. Ruth found herself in a place I’m sure she never thought she would be in. She had no choice but to look to God as her source of strength in order to get to where she wanted to go. And God honored her and blessed her for being the woman he called her to be. Talk about fairy tale endings – Ruth ends up in the royal lineage of Israel and ultimate Jesus Christ. Ruth was the great grandmother of King David, the second king of Israel and a man after God’s own heart. If you remember correctly, Jesus was born from the family line of King Jesus Christ. When you are obedient to God and become the woman He wants you to be, you also, will be a part of the royal family. You will become a daughter of the King of Kings. Ladies, you should be committed to demonstrating qualities that are proper for a princess to display. God intends for you to be called “Daddy’s Little Princess”. Word… Pastor Alex posted by Pasta' Alex # 10:26 AM 103 Comments Tuesday, October 07, 2008 Duck and The Devil I was sent this story in an email a few weeks ago and thought it was pretty good. Good enough to share with all of you. I hope it speaks to you like it did to me. Word... The Duck and the Devil There was a little boy visiting his grandparents on their farm. He was given a slingshot to play with out in the woods. He practiced in the woods; but he could never hit the target.Getting a little discouraged, he headed back for dinner. As he was walking back he saw Grandma's pet duck. Just out of impulse, he let the slingshot fly, hit the duck square in the head and killed it. He was shocked and grieved! In a panic, he hid the dead duck in the wood pile; only to see his sister watching! Sally had seen it all, but she said nothing. After lunch the next day Grandma said, "Sally, let's wash the dishes." But Sally said, "Grandma, Johnny told me he wanted to help in thekitchen." Then she whispered to him, "Remember the duck?" So Johnny did the dishes. Later that day, Grandpa asked if the children wanted to gofishing and Grandma said, "I'm sorry but I need Sally to help make supper." Sally just smiled and said, "Well that's all right because Johnny told me he wanted to help." She whispered again, "Remember the duck?" So Sally went fishing and Johnny stayed to help. After several days of Johnny doing both his chores and Sally's; he finally couldn't stand it any longer. He came to Grandma and confessed that he had killed the duck. Grandma knelt down, gave him a hug and said, "Sweetheart, I know. You see, I was standing at the window and I saw the whole thing, but because I love you, I forgave you. I was just wondering how long you would let Sally make a slave of you." Thought for the day and every day thereafter? Whatever is in your past, whatever you have done... And the devil keeps throwing it up in your face (lying, cheating, debt, fear, bad habits, hatred, anger, bitterness, etc.) ...whatever it is...You need to know that God was standing at the window and He saw the whole thing. He has seen your whole life. He wants you to know that He loves you and that you are forgiven. He's just wondering how long you will let the devil make a slave of you. The great thing about God is that when you ask for forgiveness; He not only forgives you, but He forgets. It is by God's grace and mercy that we are saved. God is at the window! When Jesus died on the cross; he was thinking of you! - Author Unknown posted by Pasta' Alex # 4:53 PM 0 Comments |
The Skinny - This is where you can get "The Real Deal" from the Original Brotha's. They bring todays realest topics that will make you laugh, cry, think and sometimes help you see things in a different way.
PAST BLOGS: Secret to Victorious Christian Living Which Way Do You Go I Don't Feel You Anymore Random Thoughts for 1.6.10 The Touch Big Mistake What God Hates Yesterday I posted a status update on my facebook ... On The Fence On The Fence Archives: 09/2006 10/2006 11/2006 12/2006 01/2007 02/2007 03/2007 04/2007 06/2007 07/2007 08/2007 09/2007 10/2007 11/2007 02/2008 04/2008 05/2008 08/2008 09/2008 10/2008 11/2008 12/2008 01/2009 02/2009 03/2009 04/2009 05/2009 06/2009 07/2009 09/2009 10/2009 11/2009 12/2009 01/2010 02/2010 |
||||