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Thursday, December 04, 2008
What Women Want Is that a question or a statement? I wish I were a fly on the wall of your mind as you read that title. I can picture most of the female readers of my blog putting a little smirk on your face. You wonder why an opinionated man with 4 little boys would think he knows what I want and you are prepared to refute any and everything that I have say, right or wrong. Yet, let’s be honest, you are intrigued - so you read on. For the male readers of my blog, I offer this advice - you would be wise to grab a pen and paper and take a few notes. Why? Because I’m about to tell you what women want! Before I begin, allow me to offer my credentials as to why I know what women want. First of all, I am a husband who, in my wife’s estimation, would say that I have been happily married for at least 10 of the 13 years I have been legally married. Secondly, I have had a mother for 36 years. Thirdly, I have a total of 5 sisters – 2 of which I lived with for 20+ years. Fourth, for 3 years I shared residence with 180+ women while working as a Residence Director at Evangel University. Now that was an education! I learned more about women by just hanging out in the lobby than most men learn in a lifetime. Lastly, I know you! Let’s face it ladies, you are just as opinionated and vocal about what you want as I am in telling you what you want. So, let’s get started… Women want… · to be swept off their feet by a night in shining armor who realizes that although this is what she wanted, she didn’t really need to be swept off her feet and he needs to realize that actually, she is very independent and self-sufficient. · a guy who is sensitive, but not too sensitive. · a guy who is nice, but not too nice. · a guy who is sweet, but not too sweet. · a guy who is athletic, but won’t choose the game over spending time with her. · to feel loved and respected and valued. She wants her sensitive man to make her feel special and at the same time she wants him to be somewhat of a “bad boy”! (Bad boys are exciting) · an artistic, creative, sporadic, and carefree man who knows how to balance a checkbook, help with the laundry and never forgets special occasions like her birthday, their anniversary, and will always remember what she wore on their first date. · a man who knows what’s on her mind but doesn’t come across like he always knows what she is thinking. · a man who can read their mind – but only sometimes, like when it comes to picking out the perfect gift for them or knowing what movie they really want to watch, but he can’t try to read their mind all the time. · a man who will listen to all their problems but never tell them what to do. · a man who will never lie to them but will always tell them they look good. · a man who dresses nice, but doesn’t look better than them. And only when they feel like dressing up, sometimes a girl wants to wear their man’s sweats – so he has to be bigger than her. · true love - from a man who has money. To sum it all up; women don’t really know what they want. They are confused and confusing. If only women of today were like the previous generation. It was easy to figure out what they wanted. Ask your mom and dad – everyone knew that back then, woman wanted SECURITY. They wanted to feel safe and know they were taken care of. If only it could be so simple. But, this is the beauty of it all. It’s all a big game! We, MEN, get to figure it all out. So don’t get discouraged and start thinking you can never know what they really want, so why even try. That’s the negative way of looking at things. Instead, be positive and realize it’s an open field. Since women don’t really know what they want, you can do whatever and be whoever you want and convince them that they want what you tell them they want. But be careful, men. Don’t tell them you know what they want because they don’t want to be told you know even though you and I both know they don’t know and we do know. But you, young man, don’t live with women of old. You have the 21st century girl to deal with. They don’t know what they want. So, let the game begin! Word… Pasta’ Alex posted by Pasta' Alex # 11:04 AM 0 Comments   Tuesday, November 25, 2008 A Leader Who Seeks God I love the story of King Asa recorded in 1 Kings 15 and 2 Chronicles 15. His story is so good that God puts it in the Bible twice. :-) But the story starts out with a prophecy given to King Asa from God. The prophet Azariah, moved by the spirit, comes to him and tells him 4 things: 1. Listen carefully to what I have to say. 2. God will stick with you as long as you stick with him. 3. If you look for him, you will find him. 4. But if you leave him, he will leave you. What a prophecy! God wants to bless Asa and use him to do great things and He tells him so. Now it’s up to Asa to do his part in order for the prophecy to be fulfilled. The Bible says in 2 Chronicles 15:8 (The Message), “Asa heard the prophecy of Azariah son of Obed, took a deep breath, then rolled up his sleeves, and went to work.” It’s time for us to hear what God is saying to us and then get to work! We have to get serious about seeking God with our whole heart. We know good things will happen when we do, but we have to take action. Asa’s people were serious about doing what God told them to do. So series in fact, that they bound themselves in a covenant (a formal agreement) and agreed that anyone who refused to seek God should be killed, no matter who it was! Wow! That’s a serious commitment! But they realized that the whole community was only as strong as its weakest link. Do you realize that we are only as strong as you are in the Lord! Asa was committed to doing what was right in the eyes of the Lord and this was reflected in his leadership of the people. The Bible says all kinds of good things about Asa. · “His heart was in the right place, in tune with God” · “Asa conducted himself well before God” · “He was well intentioned and loyal to God” This is the kind of man that I want to be. I long to God’s prophecies for my life, my family and my ministry. When they are revealed to me, I will listen and take action by obeying his Word precisely. What about you? What kind of leader do you want to be? Word… Pasta’ Alex posted by Pasta' Alex # 9:15 AM 0 Comments Tuesday, November 18, 2008 Window of Opportunity The definition of the term "window of opportunity": - A short period of time during which an opportunity must be acted on or missed. Men, when it comes to dating relationships, you always have to keep this term in mind. Whenever you meet a young lady that you may be interested in, you have to remember, if something is most likely going to become of it, you have to take advantage of the window of opportunity. Realize that you have a short period of time between when you meet her and when you take the risk to make your move. The pressure is on! Can you handle it? We have already acknowledged that we have a problem in the Christian dating world. In the previous couple of blogs, I spent time addressing this problem from the female perspective. But now, I want to speak to the fellas. The long and short of it is this, a big part of why this problem persists is because guys are missing their windows of opportunity. For whatever reason they are not stepping up to the plate and letting the girls know they are interested. What's holding you men back?
Whatever it is holding you back, it’s time to move past it. I speak to so many guys who I know are interested in a young lady and after long periods of time, don’t do anything about it. A lot of guys are willing to take their chances by hanging out in the “friend zone” forever and hope that one day the girl will magically decide that he is actually her knight in shining armor. Get real fellas! This type of thing only happens in the moves if your name is Matthew McConaughey or Justin Timberlake. And the reality is, you don’t look that good with your shirt off like Matthew and you can’t dance like JT. The facts that you have a cute smile and are easy to talk do not give you a free ticket to jump in and out of the “friend zone.” You, my friend, would be wise to look for and capitalize on your window of opportunity.
Can you dig what I’m saying? Word… P. Alex PS. Next time I’m going to tell you what women really want. posted by Pasta' Alex # 3:15 PM 0 Comments Wednesday, November 05, 2008 The Day After Oh, how I would love to give you relationship advice right now. And I shall, except not the kind I have given in the past few blogs. I want to offer a few thoughts about our relationship with our fellow man. The day after the election... I read an article by Chuck Colson and I want to share a few of his thoughts. Here is some of what he wrote: Pray for our President!
Friend, don't let that be said about you. No matter what happens, no matter who is the President, no matter what is going on in your life - the trials, the hardships, the trouble, Don't forget about God! So, the day after election day, seek Him with your whole heart! Not only for yourself, but for the new President, your fellow man, and for our whole country. He gives us this promise in 2 Chronicles 15:2 "I am with you when you are with me. If you seek me, you will find me, but if you forsake me, I will forsake you." Get to Praying! Word... Pastor Alex posted by Pasta' Alex # 3:08 PM 0 Comments Monday, October 27, 2008 Random Relationship Advice - Part 2 The other day I was talking to a guy, a good quality guy that a lot of girls are interested in, and I was asking him a few random dating questions. This is a quality guy, the kind of guy that a lot of girls are interested in, yet, he’s not dating anyone. I wanted to know why! Now ladies, I know your mind is wondering already and you are trying to figure out who you have seen me talking to the last couple of days so you can figure out who this might be, but you are wasting your time. The point is not, who I was talking to but what we were talking about. The bottom line is; we have an epidemic in the Christian dating world. This epidemic is especially problematic for quality Christian guys. So there I was, asking this young man all kinds of questions, such as: · Aren’t there any Christian girls that you would be interested in getting to know better? Yes, several of them. · Are there any of these girls that you think are cute? Oh YEAH! · Are you afraid to ask a girl out? NO! · Do you have any game? YES. · Then what’s the problem? Why haven’t you asked one of these girls out? Well… OK, hold on, do you really want to know why this quality guy is very hesitant to ask a girl out?!?! I mean, can you handle the truth? Because once you know the truth, you are responsible to own it. I realize my role is to be the conduit that communicates between both sides. I am willing to figure out what this quality Christian guy is thinking and then relay his thoughts, but ladies; I need you to help fix this problem. So, the reason why he hadn’t asked a girl out in a while and why he is very slow to ask a girl out is because he is afraid she will read too much into it. You know what I’m talking about. “Boy sees girl. Boy thinks girl is cute. BoyGet the point? My advice ladies, is for you to not get so hung up on a guy, any guy. Just because a guy happens to be a quality guy that you would like to get to know better, doesn’t mean that you have to allow yourself to like him so much! Take your thoughts “captive to Christ” and don’t let your mind start planning your wedding before he even says hello to you. When you start to obsess about what every smile means or why he hasn’t called yet…ask the Holy Spirit to help you slow your roll! He will and you will fare much better in the dating game. The Holy Spirit will show you how to come across like a young lady who is worth asking out versus your anxiety that causes you to act like one of Cinderella’s step sisters trying to force her foot into the glass slipper. Ladies you have to understand that a date is just an activity or meeting between two people with the goal of getting to know each other better. It probably won’t go any farther than that. I hate to be the one to tell you, but you need to take a chill pill. If it does turn into more than friendship, then great…enjoy, but if not, remember, you’ve made a friend. And in my experience, friends make great spouses… down the road. Word… Pasta’ Alex posted by Pasta' Alex # 11:48 PM 0 Comments Wednesday, October 22, 2008 Random Relatinship Advice - Part 1 I think there is an issue with the way young Christian people show (or try not to show) their interest for a member of the opposite sex. Let's face it, as a college and young adult aged person; from time to time you are going to develop feelings for a member of the opposite sex. Since I know it's hard for you to admit to anyone, or even yourself, that you do have these feelings, we will just say, you will develop an intrigued interest in a boy or girl. So, what do you do? If you are like most young Christians, you start to hang around that person as much as you can, doing things with them, texting, calling and emailing them all the time. Your plan is to get as close to that person as you can and become "really good friends". Correct? Bad Plan! If you simply hang around with them and get to know them as much as you can, you are going to be placed into the good friend category. This may seem like a good thing because in the good friend category, you get to spend a lot of time with him or her. They tell you secrets and you get to know them better. You start to see good qualities that make you like this person even more. You enjoy the friendship and so do they. The problem is, once you are in the good friend category, it’s hard to ever get out of it! Unless of course you are Brad Pitt or Megan Fox, then you can move freely in and out of any category you want. But, no disrespect meant, you are not Brad or Megan! So, stay out of the good friend category. Instead, hang out in the casual friend category. This is where you want to be. Casual friends hang out and speak from time to time, but they don’t have the unwritten mandate to have to communicate all the time. There’s no social code of behavior that comes along with being casual friends unlike the expectations of being accountable to a good friend. If you want to call, text message or hang out with a casual friend, you do. But if not, then oh well. There’s a fascination that accompanies casual friendship. Casual friends look forward to the few times they see each other because they know it will be an opportunity to get to know the other person better. There’s good conversation, laughter and fun times, and the feeling that you want to spend more time with this person; that characterize casual friendship. Isn’t this the type of interaction you want between you and a person you are “interested” in?! The ultimate goal is to have that person of interest ask themselves this critical question: “I wonder why I feel the way I do about my friend?” When they start asking that question, then – BOOM! You got them right where you want them. Therefore, make sure you work hard to stay out of the good friend category if you think you might become interested in someone. Keep the excitement and freshness alive by not giving into the allure to become really good friends. Be patient and give the relationship time to blossom into something beautiful and special. Remember, all good things are worth waiting and in relationships, timing matters a lot. Word… P. Alex posted by Pasta' Alex # 11:39 AM 0 Comments Wednesday, October 15, 2008 Daddy's Little Princess For some time now I have wanted to offer a few thoughts to young ladies about what guys are looking for. I often talk with young ladies about relationships, the guy of their dreams, marriage and all that other girly stuff. I know you are probably thinking; “What does Pastor Alex know about girly stuff?! He only has boys and he doesn’t seem very sensitive!” Exactly! I do only have sons and I’m not very sensitive. These facts alone should qualify me to tell young ladies what guys want and what they are looking for in a girlfriend or wife. So, listen up ladies! Here it is… Guys want… wait a minute, it’s really not that simple. I mean, come on. Different guys are looking for different things. Is she pretty? Can she sing? Does she have a beautiful smile that lights up a room? Does she have nice legs? Does she love the Lord? Is she athletic? Is she outgoing and friendly? Does she laugh at my jokes and make me feel important? Is she nice to her family? The list goes on and on. What one guy puts at the top of list of things he is looking for, another guy may rank at the bottom of his list. Truth be told - the more guys you talk to about what guys really want, the more confused you can be. (Imagine how guys feel now about what girls want). Instead of focusing on what guys want, I say you should focus on what God wants you to be. I’m sure you have read before about the Proverbs 31 woman? If not, check it out. The Bible gives a good list of qualities all virtuous women should possess. That’s a good place to start understanding what God wants you to be. Check it out sometime. In addition, I want to point you to a woman in the Bible that has always caught my eye. She was a foreigner who married outside of her race. Shortly after her marriage her newly wed husband dies and leaves her without children or any proper means to take care of herself. The woman I’m talking about is Ruth. I love the story of Ruth and there is a lot we can learn from her. So ladies, speaking from the male perspective, I offer several things us guys admire about a lady like Ruth. 1. Ruth was loyal. We are first introduced to Ruth as she demonstrated her commitment to remain loyal to her mother-in-law Naomi even in the midst of tough circumstances. Ruth’s husband, Naomi’s son has died and left Ruth childless. Ruth chooses to stay with Naomi instead of going to find another husband while she is still young. ¨ What about you, are you loyal to your friends, your job, your family, your church? Do you demonstrate a willingness to stick around and not abandon ship at the firs sign of trouble? 2. Ruth showed initiative. Since her mother-in-law, Naomi is too old to work and take care of herself. Ruth gets a job to provide for both of them, even in a foreign land where she knew no one. ¨ What about you, are you willing to figure out what needs to be done and then do it? Or, do you play the “girl card” and wait for others to step up to the plate? 3. Ruth was courteous. Before she went to pick up food in the field of a stranger, she asked for permission. She didn’t just assume she could join the other people picking food, who usually entered the field without permission – which was customary for their culture. This act stood out so much that the work foreman took notice and told the owner of the field, Boaz. ¨ Are you known for being kind and courteous or are you only nice when people are nice to you? 4. Ruth was a hard-worker. The foreman also commented on the fact that Ruth worked hard in the field starting early in the morning and didn’t slack off or take breaks. ¨ Are you a hard worker, or do you just do enough to get by hoping that others will step in and take over so you don’t have to break a sweat? 5. Ruth was humble. She dropped to her knees and showed respect for the owner of the field and thanked him from the bottom of her heart when he showed her kindness and favor. ¨ Are you willing to humble yourself before others or do you have the attitude that no one is better than you and respect is earned before it is given? Are you willing to put yourself in positions of lower authority and readily to submit to others? 6. Ruth had a good reputation. When Boaz had a conversation with Ruth, he told her all the good things he had heard about her. ¨ What’s your reputation? Are you known for being a nice and positive person? One who is kind, generous, gentle, and compassionate, one who shows the love of Christ at all times? 7. Ruth was industrious. Ruth did the job until it was finished. She not only picked the wheat, but then took it to the storehouse to process it and then bagged it up and carried it home. She didn’t stop until the job was done. ¨ What about you? Do you work without complaining and keep going until the job is finished? Or do you avoid doing work and look for the quickest way out when you do have to work? 8. Ruth was generous. Even though she was hungry and worked hard for what she received, when Boaz met her needs by giving her food, she took the leftovers home to share with her mother-in-law. ¨ Are you a generous person or are you selfish? Do you look to fulfill your own desires and needs first in the midst of hardships? Or do you also think about others and their needs? So forget about what guys are looking for - their opinion is NOT the one you should seek. Besides, what guys say they want often changes with the times! However, what God wants you to become will never change. I believe he offers us this story of Ruth to be an example to all young ladies for all time. Ruth demonstrated admirable qualities that all young ladies would be wise to strive to acquire. Ruth found herself in a place I’m sure she never thought she would be in. She had no choice but to look to God as her source of strength in order to get to where she wanted to go. And God honored her and blessed her for being the woman he called her to be. Talk about fairy tale endings – Ruth ends up in the royal lineage of Israel and ultimate Jesus Christ. Ruth was the great grandmother of King David, the second king of Israel and a man after God’s own heart. If you remember correctly, Jesus was born from the family line of King Jesus Christ. When you are obedient to God and become the woman He wants you to be, you also, will be a part of the royal family. You will become a daughter of the King of Kings. Ladies, you should be committed to demonstrating qualities that are proper for a princess to display. God intends for you to be called “Daddy’s Little Princess”. Word… Pastor Alex posted by Pasta' Alex # 10:26 AM 0 Comments |
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